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Sharing a bed with your partner can be warm, cuddly and wonderful ― except when it's not. Think snoring, stealing all the covers and breathing way too loudly, among other bedtime transgressions.
Below, we've gathered 31 tweets that hilariously and honestly describe the nightly struggle of sharing a bed with another human.

It's funny that my wife thinks I have a "side" of the bed. I think she means my "sliver" of bed I've been allotted.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 15, 2017

1.
World’s Worst Sounds:1. Nails on a chalkboard2. Alarm clock3. Dentist’s drill4. That tiny puff of air my husband’s lips make every time he exhales while sleeping— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 3, 2018

2.
*watching husband sleep*Me: "I just love him so much, he's my everyth-"*husband snores*Me: "I can't live like this."— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 28, 2016

3.
My husband can sleep through anything except me shining a tiny light briefly on the book I'm reading in bed.— Housy Wife (@wife_housy) August 6, 2016

4.
You don't even need an alarm clock when you're married cuz he will loudly clear his throat and wake you at 6am every morning until you die.— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) May 11, 2017

5.
I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) October 15, 2017

6.
At least 10% of divorces can be avoided by buying bigger blankets— X Alqee (@Xalqee) July 9, 2012

7.
How can my wife's hands not open a jar of pickles in the day, but become superhuman vice-grips at night when I want some covers?— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) December 4, 2014

8.
I'm not allowed to cross the grocery dividers my wife puts in between us in bed.— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) March 19, 2017

9.
Marry your true love so you can always wake up together and say, "Breathe the other way".— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) April 20, 2017

10.
Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn't wanna share.— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) December 30, 2015

11.
Each night my wife takes three pillows that aren’t for sleeping off of the bed and puts them on a chair that’s not for sitting.— Distracted Dad (@Distracted_Dad) January 18, 2018

12.
I can’t be sure but either my husband’s snoring woke me up or the earth itself cracked in half.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) February 16, 2018

13.
Couldn’t sleep last night. Too busy rolling my husband over and over like a damn rotisserie chicken to stop him from snoring.— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 28, 2017

14.
Me: Did I snore last night?My wife: No you woke up screaming from a nightmare.Me: Awesome.— Phil (@geowizzacist) October 8, 2017

15.
Hello couchness my old friendI've come to sleep on you againBecause a wife softly seething Hates the fact that I'm breathing— Jack C (@Jack_C44) December 27, 2016

16.
My wife got a Fitbit for the sole purpose of proving how many times I wake her up in the middle of the night by snoring.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 20, 2016

17.
My favorite position for my husband in bed? On his side so he doesn’t snore.— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 3, 2017

18.
Is there a Sleep Number 666 to warm my wife’s icy feet?— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) July 10, 2017

19.
The best thing you can do for your marriage is sleep with separate comforters.— not the WORST mom 🤔 (@nottheworstmom) March 9, 2018

20.
Last night, my husband said a complete sentence in his sleep so I woke him up to tell him how creepy that was.— Wendy (@_wendyb07) January 28, 2017

21.
Me to husband: I never sleep well when you're gone & hate it when you travel. Also Me: I hate it when you breathe like that in your sleep— EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaWhoToYou) May 26, 2017

22.
My husband volunteered to sleep on the couch tonight since he’s been snoring so much lately.Don’t tell me the fire isn’t burning bright in our marriage.— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) March 2, 2018

23.
Marriage is basically agreeing to not sleep in a comfortable position again for the rest of your life.— QUΞΞN ΔLΔNΔ (@AlanaRockz) November 16, 2015

24.
I wondered if my wife was asleep so I held my phone a foot over her face and turned it on.Then I dropped it onto her nose.She's awake now.— Bipolar Bear ✪ (@_b1p0larbear) October 27, 2016

25.
[day 3 of a cold]me: To my wife I leave-wife [sitting beside me in bed] *turns the TV up*— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 1, 2017

26.
[in bed]Me: hey, did you grab my buttWife: yeah sorry, I was looking for the remote— Rock🇺🇸 (@TheMichaelRock) November 6, 2016

27.
*crinkle**crinkle* *crinkle* *crinkle*wife [trying to sleep] What the hell are you doing?!me [trying to open a bag of Cheetos] Nothing— Josh (@iwearaonesie) November 28, 2016

28.
I love my husband, but no matter where we are I make him sleep closest to the door so if anything happens he gets murdered first.— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) July 14, 2017

29.
Marriage means sometimes you have to apologize for something you did in another person's dream.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 9, 2017

30.
*gets out of bed first so wife has to make it*— brent (@murrman5) April 14, 2017

31.
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