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Diana Mahabir-Wyatt

It is at the top now. The CEO of British Petroleum, Bernard Looney, was "encouraged" last week by his board of directors to resign over what is called nowadays as “inappropriate behaviour.” When he refused to resign, he was fired.
Then a week later, the acting CEO, Murray Auchincloss, appointed to replace him also had to "resign" for the same reason. Then there was Spanish sports celebrity Senor Rubiales, who for some strange reason chose to display his self-image as an alpha male capable of displaying his power and control over a World Cup athlete and humiliating her front of several million people live on TV.
As for Russell Brand, I am prepared to accept that the quintessential narcissist, accused of raping a small young woman against a wall, claiming he only ever had consensual sex, truly believes he had life privileges to her body. He doesn't.
When I first began to work in the commercial field on an executive level, in industrial relations I was usually the only female at the table other than, occasionally, a recording secretary. It was so long ago that secretaries used shorthand to record minutes.
At that time, in relation to “inappropriate behaviour,” I was warned,"If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen” – usually with a smirk. I was also warned in advance by the women’s underground network, who we should try to evade and who would push the "inappropriate behaviour." Almost every member of the secretarial cohort in TT shared with every other one who to watch out for.
I learned the value of silence at lunch breaks with my male counterparts, where I soon became invisible, and the wisdom of ignoring crude jokes such as “secretary not permanent unless screwed on desk” followed by jovial sniggers: what Donald Trump referred to as "locker room humour" was acceptable.
I wondered about some of those men: they weren’t bad sorts, just unpolished, unsophisticated, and grew up learning that women in business were not as human as they were, so ridiculing them didn’t matter, and thought that kind of inappropriate behaviour would be appreciated by other men. And by and large it was.
Around a negotiating table or in conferences they were serious and models of propriety. Then, in a discussion with a dear friend who had listened to more abashed details of male sexual behaviour in the psychiatrist’s chair than I ever would, he taught me a lesson about intimate relationships that I have never forgotten. It goes way back to the observations of Greek philosophers about human relationships and taught me things that my parents didn’t but Plato and Aristotle did.
Some of these can develop safely at work. Some are "inappropriate."
For the Greeks intimate relationships fell into seven categories:
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Eros: romantic love, physical need, sexual, dependency
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Storge: family love, parent to child, siblings, relatives, life partners
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Philia: Close friendship not based on sex or on gender but a shared desire for a deeper understanding of self and the other and of life.
* Ludus (actually a Latin word): Playful, flirting, teasing, seduction, casual uncomplicated often involving serial relationships not meant to lead to storge, but sometimes can end in a lifetime connection.
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Agape: Universal, love for humanity, nature, or God
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Pragma: Practical love, duty, shared goals “making it work,” arranged marriages may grow from storge or philia
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Philautia: Self-love, healthy and self-developmental, or unhealthy and narcissistic
Because most young people are not taught the distinction among the different forms of intimacy, at home or at school, they often feel because they "have feelings" for someone, it leads inevitably to erotic, romantic, happily-ever-after relationships.
It doesn’t. When people have never learned to distinguish their emotions, especially during periods of adolescence or middle-aged vulnerability, in business settings they can make life-changing decisions that can change their business lives, as well as their domestic lives, for ever.
This is not an excuse, but may explain the behaviour of ex- head Rubiales of the Spanish football federation or that of the head of BP. For some people ,like Boris Johnson on his third wife, who are serial flirters, it can be a period of enjoyable engagement – what teenagers refer to as "friends with benefits," but does not result in disaster.
If both partners are in the
Ludus stage, everyone in the company knows, and apart for some very jealous colleagues, usually no one really cares, but loves to gossip about it.
In the case of BP it was conjoined with resentment over the multi-million annual salary (in pounds!) of Mr Looney, compared to what they felt were their too-low wages in comparison, and it led to large and somewhat comic billboards depicting a half-naked, exaggeratedly-genitalled Looney erected all over London, which damaged the image of BP and may have led to his resignation. As well as, a week later, to that of his replacement acting CEO, who admitted to the same indiscretion.
Ridicule is the most effective tool of destruction in the corporate world and can be used with impunity. It probably would not be effective in a culture where the person depicted in the satire would retaliate by singing A Deputy Essential.
But you never can tell. Since the emergence of the Me Too movement and our mimic-man reputation, businesses with connections to markets abroad have become far more sensitive, as they now have to abide by ISO standards which often include ethical and moral rectitude in their policies.
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