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TERRENCE HONORE

JUST LIKE that, I missed the announcement of the Carnival regulations by the Parliament, a measure designed to clean up Carnival. This success of the parliamentary process is commendable, but this is Carnival we are talking about, a time of unbridled revelry.
Trying to control Carnival is like the proverbial saying, "closing the stable door after the horse has bolted." It might be too little too late, but we will have to wait and see.
But when I heard the news I thought it must be a dream. Then I heard a masman complain, “What they really trying to do to we? Let them clean up Parliament fus’."
As a partial spectator for many years, I looked at the spectacle of the "crazy" season of Carnival with people "palancing" without reason and often wondered when it could ever be gotten under control. This government real brave, yes. Trying to get Trinidadians/Tobagonians to behave when soca starts playing, big truck passing and rags waving in the air.
Then I heard another masquerader say, "Like they mad or what?" Carnival is the "road march" of the nation.
But this is the Government trying to change the tune. Somewhat it seems. Trying to control a masquerader after all the "Brazil wax" done and bikini costume in place. It’s a level of intoxication and passion that will not give way to rules and regulations.
This must be a dream, I told myself. I was standing with some people around me. I couldn’t see their faces. Some cheered and others jeered when the announcement was made. I was surprised that everything didn't turn to ole mas in the Parliament.
I looked in closer and saw movements on the opposition side. They looked confident with their J’Ouvert-style portrayal of “It's our time now" and the government benches responded with their reprisal of “A little storm in a teacup.” Things got hot.
Carnival was alive but must be under control.
Then it was pandemonium in Parliament when the chief whip cracked and the Speaker raised the gravel to charge the Finance Minister and all who didn’t want to vote, instructing them to put dey han’ in the air!
The "set ah noise" nearly killed me. I laughed at the extempore performances and the pretences of the Members of Parliament as their respective "bandleaders" waved them up to a frenzy.
It was ‘mas of class’ the day when Parliament passed the regulations to clean up Carnival in the nation.
They resurrected the old rules from colonial times. It was an effort worthy of praise, trying to dress up legislation from old Carnival days. But it all still seemed like a dream.
It’s interesting to try to enforce rules to regulate how much people wine with the line "no lewd offensive behaviour" and telling people "no guns and things" like old marines or fancy sailor. Only fancy beads, feathers and glitter allowed. No fussing or cussing, just have a clean Carnival. An oxymoron to the wise for sure.
I guess consideration was given and ideas included from the 1948 listing of rules. But they didn’t mention "Don’t lose your temper, don’t overindulge in intoxicating liquor." And the one I really like, "Don’t forget that your children and your neighbours’ little ones are looking at you." I laughed so hard I nearly woke up.
In the dream, I heard a parliamentarian say the police shouldn’t move a motion if a drunk woman "put ah wine" on them. They must stand at attention and, with pretension, make sure that no rules have been broken.
And certainly, don’t look like a police or fireman, "don’t wear a mask when you drive" and "don’t sing a song that has a smutty line." This sounds like a nursery rhyme from a different time.
Then I saw 20 masqueraders or more standing by the Parliament door, others peeping through the window to hear the great pronouncement.
The Speaker stood up to speak with pomp and all the privilege of the House and made the grand announcement. And all the people in the gallery said, “Ent is long time they trying to do this. First no bottle to drink 'we ting' and now this. Nah man!"
Meanwhile, the church choir was standing by waiting for its cue. Frowning sanctimoniously at the whole situation. Silently condemning the people who chose to wine and rant and rave and misbehave. But on their faces I could see some wishing they could "Carnival," instead of trying to hide the vibes they feeling in their toes when the soca start to play. But they kept their composure, controlled their behaviour and properly sang a Hallelujah.
Then I heard an old man near me say, "So they trying to clean up Carnival at last. I could remember the time when it was all for fun…all that good time gone and all I could do now is remember. But they can't change the Carnival, no matter how hard they try…that eh happening, over my dead body. I playing manicou in the morning for them, and then prancing like a lagahoo up in ah the night." He smiled with a glint of light in his eyes.
Not to be outdone, an old lady said with a frown said, “Things got real bad. It really sad. It is time the Government get to the bottom of this, too much bosom showing. Dem woman have no pride, nothing left to hide. But they can't control the Carnival, no matter how hard people pray, that is the time that people want to ‘dingolay’. They can't help but be drunk and disorderly or stink and dutty. But for the sake of the economy, it's time we come clean.”
I couldn’t stop the lady talking, she was in a groove. She added, “We long time polluting the minds of the young, teaching them how to ‘throw waist' all over the place, from the Winer Girl from Princes Town to the Flag Woman and the rest of the crew. Is too much Carnival in we blood. It’s in the DNA of TT. All the Carnival babies grow up to play and say a little wine never hurt nobody and nothing wrong with a little gyration to prop up the nation.”
It looks like the sweetness of sugar cane and the smoothness of oil showing up in the way the people move. Looks like plenty more Carnival Mondays to come.
So whitewash as much as you want, pray and preach as you may, Carnival is here to stay. A few rules can't change the way people play. The motion in Parliament is meant to smooth the commotion on the street and give a better tourist version. But that is left to be seen.
But some people will be quick to say that the regulations sound like a farce – good-intentioned but will not last. As for me, I know how to stay out of big people party and try to practise a little piety.
The people will play on while the Christians pray on.
It was then that I looked across and saw a band of masqueraders pass. And I heard the performer say, "Somebody scream! Carnival getting clean.”
The sound woke me up from my dream.
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