Who is popular today?

People you don’t see face to face can still provide a communityI was raised not to talk to strangers. Strangers, I was taught as a child, are people we’ve never met before, therefore we don’t know them. Childhood me would have been horrified to know that, now in my 30s, I frequently engage with complete randoms without giving it much thought. I’m not just talking about shop staff who make the mistake of asking me how my day is going, only to be met with a very honest, over-sharing response. I mean the way that social media apps have evolved to illicit a reaction or response, how my thumb reflexively double-taps a metronome as I scroll, giving iambic rhythm to the red hearts that pulse before my eyes. I am not alone in counting people I’ve connected with online as my friends, but how do these friendships compare to those we have in person?There is a certain ease in making online connections that can’t be replicated offline and it’s this ease that appeals to the time-poor, emotionally guarded side of me. Follow? Follow back, job done! While I had a large group of friends at secondary school, I wouldn’t say I am now part of anything that looks like Taylor Swift’s #squadgoals, a term often used to describe her large yet intimate circle of friends. Nor would I know how to go about getting a squad. According to Dr Marisa G Franco, psychologist, friendship expert and author of Platonic, making friends as an adult is more complicated than when we were kids. “Children in school have what sociologists consider the essential ingredients for friendship to happen organically, which is repeated unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability. As adults, we don’t really have environments with those elements, because at work we’re maybe more guarded and less vulnerable, even if we see each other every day.” Continue reading...