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But what is wedlock forced but a hell,An age of discord and continued strife?Whereas the contrary bringeth blissAnd is a pattern of celestial peace.- Shakespeare, 1 Henry, VI, 6, 5THAT statement is coming from a man or woman who is definitely not happy in the marriage, which may have been a forced one. That seems to be the order of the day. Still, it's not a new phenomenon, as bad marriages are as old as time.The main difference is that back in the day people endured the suffering and put on the appearance of a happy couple, even though that was so far from the truth. Even here in Jamaica I recently saw some startling statistics that showed the increase in divorces, with the numbers being over 4,000 for a year compared to just under 1,000 weddings for the same time period.Are people less tolerant of each other? Did they marry for the wrong reason? Is there no real love left in the land, or are people simply selfish? So many questions, but not enough answers to stem the tide of discord that is overtaking the hearts and minds of married couples.What is the answer: separation, trial separation, divorce? Why not try the open marriage? Yes, an open marriage seems to be a viable alternative among some couples, where both parties can do what they damn well please, with anyone they fancy, with no consequences.But are there consequences? We'll find out more about the open marriage, right after these honest responses to what I had to say about 'Sex drive'.Hi Tony,It goes without saying that men are always horny as hell, which is accepted by society. However, women who are sexual require satisfaction just as much as the men do. There are many ways to pleasure and please a sexually active woman. Men just need to learn and apply.SandraHello Tony,I saw that video clip with the former first lady that you made reference to, and at first I chuckled and said to myself, "That old woman still love her things." But afterwards I felt sad and thought, "Imagine, her husband just passed away not even a year and all that she misses is the sex." Who knows, maybe the clip was taken out of context, but the truth is, she said it, and women do have a sex drive. Most are not bold enough to express it publicly, though.TamaraThroughout the ages, people have attached words of confinement to marriage, such as wedlock, tie the knot, amalgamation, combination, institution and others. There are no words of freedom or liberation. "They tied to knot. His free paper burn now." Is that why men have bachelor parties right before the wedding, in order to enjoy that last moment of freedom?For that reason, some couples find ways to recapture the freedom that they once had. In fact, marriage back in the day seemed so sinister that Shakespeare himself wrote, "Hanging and wiving go by destiny." Was he equating taking a wife to being the same as a death sentence? Well, Jamaicans do say, "Man who born fi hang, cyaan drown." Destiny is real, fate is real, and as the Arabs say, "It is written."So, having tied the knot, there are some people who wish to not really untie it but loosen it up a bit, have some flexibility, eat their cake and have it too, so to speak, and enjoy an open marriage.Open...marriage...is not that an oxymoron, a contradiction in terms? But it does exist. Perhaps the most famous one that immediately comes to mind is that of American actor Will Smith and his wife Jada. They brought their open marriage to public view years ago and felt obliged to share their experience with the world.But remember what I said about consequences of the open marriage? Say what you will, think what you will, an open marriage is unnatural and unsustainable, and perhaps that is what contributed to Will Smith's egregious behaviour at the Oscars ceremony a few weeks ago when he walked onstage before millions of world TV viewers and slapped Chris Rock."Rahtaid, him shat de man a bax right inna him face!"In my mind, his actions were just the culmination of emotional and mental anguish that he endured due to that so-called open marriage. People are human and subject to human feelings, even though they may try to mask them. This was apparent when Will's wife admitted on live TV that she was unfaithful. Yes, she give him bun and dash it in his face right there on TV for millions to see.The word she used for it was "entanglement". Now, open marriage or not, which man in his right mind could take that sort of revelation without a negative reaction? The look on his face was shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, humiliation.Since then, they have been the butt of jokes from all and sundry and were fair game for the comics in Hollywood and broader America. Especially him, for they were merciless in ridiculing him for having his wife stepping out on him and then throwing it in his face.But that's what happens when you hang your lingerie out in public: everyone sees it and grabs the opportunity to comment. To compound this, there have been rumours of Jada and Chris Rock having a relationship some time ago, and Will has also admitted that Jada's relationship with the late Tupac Shakur affected him badly.Now you can see the pain that this man is going through. So when Chris Rock made that quip about Jada starring in a GI Jane sequel, it was just too much for Will to bear. It was the last straw and he just lost it. By the way, GI Jane was a very positive movie that starred Demi Moore as a marine who overcame all the odds to succeed. Yes, she shaved her head - as is required by the marines - hence the reference to Jada's bald head.Nevertheless, Will's actions, to me, were that of a cowardly bully who, because of his wealth, has no respect for anyone. Would he have gone on stage and slapped Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, or Wesley Snipes, or Dave Chappell, Steve Harvey, Mike Tyson, or even a white comedian such as Jimmy Kimmel?Comedians are known for making jokes about people. If anyone ever watched those celebrity roasts you'd see the level to which they'll go. No one is off-limits, not even the US president, but they take it in stride.; the late Joan Rivers and Don Rickles were brutal with their sharp tongues. So it wasn't really the joke that upset Will, for in fact he laughed heartily at it until he looked across at Jada and saw that she was not amused. So, in order to show that he's a man who defends his wife, he jumps on stage and slaps a guy who's half his size.Then, to make it worse, he goes onstage later and sheds copious tears as he speaks about love and defending family. Violence is never the answer, and it's also generational. After the incident his son tweeted, "That's how we do it."As far as I'm concerned, it's similar to a drive-by where violent revenge is the answer for being "dissed".Men have fragile egos, and an open marriage is fertile ground to grow weeds for entanglement. An open marriage means that both the man and the woman can do exactly as they please with no questions asked. He can go and have sex with anyone, and she can have sex with anyone when she pleases.Hold on a minute, let's see that last line again, 'she can have sex with anyone when she pleases'. Which man in his right mind could ever agree to anything like that? Remember the lyrics of the song by Ed "Bim"Lewis and Clover?"I would like you and my sweetheart to be friends,for that's the only way your jealousy will end."When his wife retorted, "I want you and my sweetheart to be friends," his angry reply was, "Never dare to use those words to me again." That basically sums up the absurdity of the open marriage. Men just cannot come to terms with it.Every time his wife steps out the door the husband must wonder about her activities, and whenever he goes out she must also think the same thing. Then when they do decide to make love to each other, what thoughts are swirling around in his mind? "I wonder if I'm as big or as good as the other men?"Maybe in theory the open marriage seems to be a viable option. After all, monogamy is said to be unnatural. But in reality it simply cannot work, and all the experts agree on that.That's why people will continue to hide and sneak around having clandestine affairs, because the concept of the open marriage is simply untenable. I ask you gentlemen, could you tolerate an open marriage, knowing that when your wife leaves the house she's gone to have a torrid night of steamy sex with another man?Men are just not hardwired to handle the concept of an open marriage.So even though the cynics poke fun at marriage, it's still the way to go, even with its challenges. It's certainly far better than an open marriage that wreaks havoc on the emotions.Open marriage is a closed Pandora's Box.More time.seido1yard@gmail.comFootnote: We are all seeing the level of violence being carried out in our schools - by both boys and girls. It's scary. Boys fighting and stabbing each other, girls doing the same, girls fighting boys. I saw a video clip of a girl savagely attacking a boy until he couldn't take it anymore and retaliated violently. Where is all this violence coming from? The pandemic? The home? Their environment? It's a sad reflection on society.