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Constant you are, and yet a woman,And for secrecy, no way closer,For I well believe, thou will not utter,What thou dost not know.- ShakespeareA secret can be a very heavy burden to bear, most times being released by the way of conscience, that lever that lifts it off the fulcrum of our guilt, the rubbing of the lamp that lets the genie out, then poof! it's a secret no more.It's even been said that if two people know a secret, then it's a secret no more, for every best friend has a best friend, and everyone entrusted with a secret has someone else who they will entrust it to. Here's an exchange between Shakespeare and La Fontaine.Shakespeare: Nothing is so oppressive as a secret. Women find it difficult to keep one long; and I know a goodly number of men who are women in this regard.La Fontaine: Never inquire into another man's secret, but conceal that which is entrusted to you, though pressed both by wine and anger to reveal it.Yes, getting angry or drunk will usually open the Pandora's box of secrets, and that's where we'll go today, 'Secrets we keep', right after these not so secret responses to what I had to say about 'Why couples quarrel'. Hi Tony,There's a theory that some couples quarrel because they enjoy the making up. The theory is that pent up anger and frustration makes for torrid and exciting sex.Ricky  Hey Tony,Some couples are just plain incompatible and should not have got together in the first place. Some quarrels are one-sided, usually the woman spouting off and the man remaining calm and silent. Other quarrels lead to physical confrontations, while other quarrels lead to make-up sex, the best type of quarrel of all.Albert  A secret is something that's supposed to be kept unknown or unseen from others. It's also used in a different context, as in, 'The secrets of the universe.' Today, though, we're focusing on the secrets that people keep from each other. The reasons are varied, sometimes sinister, other times to protect the other person from knowing what the other partner has done or not done."I didn't tell you because I wanted to protect you from being hurt.""Can you keep a secret, keep it in your mind?" was the ditty from years gone by, but even as the years have rolled on, secrets are still being kept or not kept as the case may be. But who keeps a secret better - men or women? Based on the discussion between Shakespeare and La Fontaine, women are the ones who have loose lips and cannot keep a secret; and men who can't keep secrets behave like women.Who am I to argue with those learned scribes of yesteryear? Almost everyone knows that a secret can never be contained in a room full of women, and indeed, gossip is the forte of females. I know that I'm going to get into a lot of trouble now, but those facts are supported by history, as many men have fallen because women who they confided in couldn't keep their mouths shut."I'm sorry, Winston, I just couldn't keep it in, I had to tell my girlfriend.""Blabbermouth, now everyone knows that I have a small penis."That being said, the irony is, many women are masters of keeping secrets when the stakes are high and their lives depend on it, as men who get jacket may or may not find out. It takes TV shows like Paternity Court, Jerry Springer or DNA tests to unlock that secret from between the lips and hips of those women."Keisha, Mr Clarke is NOT the father of your child."That's a secret that she carried for many months or even years, as many men never discover that they are not the fathers of their supposed children. So women can keep secrets when they want to, as if their lives depended on it, for sometimes it really does.Some secrets are kept so tightly by men that torture has to be used to pry it from their lips, as is done in times of war. Some soldiers have been known to have suffered torture for days or weeks before they divulged military secrets."No matter what you do to me, I'll never tell, never."Others sing like a bird at the first sign of those pliers close to their manhood."I'll tell, I'll tell, just please don't cut it off."For those who have their secrets locked in a vault, as the saying goes, anger and liquor are lubricants that can loosen those lips. Just ply him or her with rum, wine, vodka or any other type of alcohol and that secret will pop out faster than a Jack in the box."Here, honey, have some more rum cream and tell me what you been keeping from me."Anger is also a great releaser, for when she gets angry enough, all that pent up rage and years of suppressed secrets come gushing out like lava from a volcano."Yes, I can't stand you, and that's why I slept with Joe one year after we got married." Oops!Men do too, for when they get drunk or angry with their BFF, a serious secret may just come sliding out."I have something to tell you. I used to sleep with your wife before you guys got married."What are the secrets that people keep though, and who has more - men or women? On the face of it, people could say that men harbour secrets also, but more of the same kind. Basically their secret is that they have another woman on the side. But that isn't even classed as a big secret, because, for one, the other woman knows, and she may chat, plus his friends will also know, for men take a certain pleasure in leaking that information to their bredrin.In essence, the secret is only kept from his wife, and eventually she'll catch the rake anyway and discover his so-called secret. It may take a little time though, for as the saying goes, 'The spouse is always the last to know.'But when a woman has a serious secret, most times she'll take it to the grave. In most cases a woman's biggest secret has to do with her past, and many men have met women, dated them for years, married them and never ever discovered the deep, dark secrets of their past.Usually it has to do with some other man or multiple men that she dare not let her current man or husband know about. That's the example of keeping a secret to protect the spouse."I could never let my husband know that I used to be a massage parlour girl who had sex with my customers, as it would really hurt him."That secret will go to the grave with her, and she would swear on a stack of Bibles to protect it. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. In fact, some women will even have secret children and not tell their current spouse about them. Geography helps here, for if she goes away to foreign and starts a new life with no mention of her children back home, that's a well-guarded secret.Oh, lest I forget, I mentioned that liquor and anger are two catalysts that are known to release well-kept secrets, but let's not forget sex, the greatest releaser of all when it comes to men. Forget about using torture, just send in a beautiful woman and watch that hardened soldier divulge all the military secrets to her.That's why beautiful women were used as spies during war times. Even mighty Samson succumbed to this as Delilah pried the secrets of his strength from him, when no one else could. After she drop it pon him, he blurted out his secret faster than he could say, "Delilah, Delilah, I'm coming." Even Tom Jones sang about it in his hit song, Delilah. ' My my my Delilah,Why why why DelilahI could see, that girl was no good for meBut I was lost like a slave that no man could free.' Poor Samson, divulged his secret and paid the price. But holding in secrets isn't all good, and can be downright emotionally destructive. That's why in many instances people have a burning desire to release their secrets to someone else."Listen, I have something to tell you, but I beg you, don't tell a soul."It was Ally Carter who said, "There are two types of secrets, the kind you want to keep in, and the kind you don't want to let out." Secrets you keep can become heavy, burdensome, so weighty that some people will divulge them even on their deathbed."Keisha, as I lay here dying, I have a secret that I have to tell you, I've been sleeping with your sister.""I found out long time, Norman, that's why I poisoned you."Ah bwoy, the secrets we keep.More time.seido1yard@gmail.com Footnote: How do we define bravery? Bravery is not approaching someone weaker than you are and beating them up. It's not ganging up on a victim and pummelling him into submission, neither is it ambushing sleeping householders and firing shots as many gunmen here do. Regardless of your politics, you have to admit that the Ukrainians have shown and continue to show remarkable bravery and resilience in fending off the attack of the marauding Russians who undoubtedly have superior firepower. They fight to the death in defending their country and never give in. Truly a modern-day David and Goliath story which must be commended. I wonder how Jamaicans would react in that situation?