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Set a huge mountain'Tween my heart and tongue,I have a man's mind,But a woman's might.- Shakespeare, Julius CaesarHISTORICALLY, women were expected to be second to men in all walks of life. They were instructed to walk five steps behind, do their bidding, be at their beck and call, and basically wait to be chosen when the men so desired. After all, it's a man who sets his sights on the woman, selects her from the herd and expresses his desire to marry her. He proposes.In many cases he'll get down on his knees, sometimes in public as those foreign people like to do, and ask her for her hand in marriage. Very often he'll make a huge public spectacle of the marriage proposal. Most times it's done out of the public's view though, for being rejected in public can be the ultimate humiliation and embarrassment.At least if it's done in private and she turns him down he can lap his tail between his legs and slink away into the sunset to lick his wounds. The point is, it's always been the man who takes the initiative when it comes to those matters. The woman just waits until a man chooses her and asks for her hand in marriage.In fact, back in the day, the man would simply show up at her family's house and tell the parents that he came for her to be his bride. Most times the parents were overjoyed. But what if the script was rewritten? What if the chapter was modified and it was the woman who took the bull by the horns, seized the moment and took the initiative by asking the man to marry her?It does seem like a stretch, like something you'd see only in the Bizarro world of Superman comics where everything runs contrary to the natural order of conventional reality. Up is down, black is white, bad is good and so on.But it has been known to happen and is not as far-fetched as you may think. Female initiative, that's what we'll explore today, right after these reflections on what I had to say about 'Husbands in demand'.Hi Tony,The other side of the coin are married women who seek out single men to satisfy their fantasies. These women are bored housewives who wish to spice up their dreary lives because their husbands are not performing their husbandly duties. These husbands are usually always away on business trips or work long hours and are tired when they get home. There is no shortage of single men looking to bring some spice into the lives of these women.SharonTeerob,Husbands will always be in demand, both by their wives and by other women. The mere fact that they are husbands makes them attractive to females. The fact that he's good enough to be a husband means that he's good enough for women seeking a suitable partner. It's only after I got married that so many women started looking my way.NormanIt's a societal and historical fact that men are the ones who initiate romance. It's the man who sees the woman, has eyes for her, likes what he sees, then makes his move. He "puts argument to her", as we say in Jamaica, fills her head with sweet words and promises, invites her out, and as the old folks say, he "comes a courting".It's just the way it is, it's just di way di system set and is the status quo of romance. He usually chooses where they go, and at the end of the evening, he picks up the tab, swipes that card, pays the bill. But who says that is always the way to do things? By what edict was it decreed that it's the man who has to take the initiative and be the one calling the shots? What if the woman wants to exert her will and be the one taking matters into her own hands? How would that go down with some men? "Hello, who is this?""It's me, Sharon, how about I pick you up later and we make a nice evening of it?""But I hardly know you.""It doesn't matter, we'll get to know each other later."Many men would perhaps feel uncomfortable with that scenario and not take too kindly to that forward approach."I tell you, Norman, she come on so strong. She sound kinda desperate to me, like she running down man."See what I mean? Just because she took the initiative it's perceived that she's desperate. Maybe some women are, but perhaps others simply just decided to exercise their prerogative and go for what they see and like.Truth be told, some men may feel more than a tad intimidated by such an advance, and feel as if they have no control."Not only did she offer to pick me up, but pay for the entire evening too."That's another thing - should women take the initiative and pay for the evening? After a great meal at an upscale restaurant dining on lobsta, swimms and steak, not saudeen and crakkas, and the bill comes, should she offer to pay it?"That's okay, Gary, dinner's on me, and you can be on me later."Some men say that if it's their regular woman they wouldn't mind, but no way would they allow that on a first date."Not at all, and let her think that I'm a mean, cheapskate man?!"Of course, as in all things, there are exceptions and there are some men who would love that, but women of that calibre do not find that sort of man attractive and do not seek them out. Did someone say parasite?To step it up though, what if they're in a relationship for a period of time, should she be the one to propose to her man?"Kirk, it's been three years now, will you marry me?"Well, wow! and double wow! Could a man handle the daunting prospect of being proposed to by his woman? Most men would be nervous and taken aback, for social mores are forged in the foundries of our history, woven in the fabric of our lives, and are hard to deviate from.It's difficult enough for a man to propose to a woman, for the fear of rejection always looms, but to have her actually propose to him may just have him suffer a cardiac episode or have him flee faster than Bolt out of the blocks."Why Victor driving away so fast?""De ugly woman just propose to him."Somehow, there is some unwritten law that says women must wait and wait and wait and never take the initiative when it comes to men. She's not even supposed to ask the man for a dance, as that may seem too bold and forward on her part.Even in the bedroom this may prove to be a problem, and women being aware of this play coy and let the man take the lead. Usually it's the man who initiates sex, even if she's the one who desperately wants it. She dare not make that move, for fear of being termed loose.He sees the woman, invites her out, and after a few dates of chit-chatting and 'getting to know you' banter, he breaches the subject of sex."Baby, let's go to my place and take it to another level."What if the woman just met the man and on her first approach, that very first date, says to him, "I really like the way how you look sexy, come let's go to my room and get busy." The unfortunate irony is, many men would view her as an easy lay, someone who just goes around and has sex with any man that she feels like whenever she pleases.The man therefore loses the thrill of the chase, the excitement and mystery of the journey, and may even feel intimidated."Imagine, the woman just meet me and talking bout sex. The same way she ask me is the same way she ask di other man dem."Ah bwoy, girls really can't do what the guys do and still be a ladies. But I ask you ladies, would you initiate sex with a man who you just met? And I ask you gentlemen, how would you feel if a woman just approached you and said, "Wow, sexy man, come with me to my house...I'll rock your world."As you can see, there are drawbacks to that scenario when women take the initiative. Apparently in our society, where as far as certain issues dealing with romance go, women must not seem to be too bold instead assume the characteristics of the dainty, coy, demure damsel. "Lady, please take your hand off my bottom."More time.seido1yard@gmail.comFootnote: Mental illness is pervasive in almost all societies, ours included. The difference here is that it's a taboo subject which many people do not wish to talk about. America is famous for its proliferation of psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists where even children go to these professionals for treatment. The slang word for them is shrink. So many people are in therapy there and even boast about it, unlike here where it's swept under the carpet. As a result, many people with mental conditions are left untreated, sometimes locked away at home, with some committing violent crimes including murder. Stories of mentally unstable individuals throwing stones and killing people, or stabbing up relatives are not uncommon. This should be addressed.