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Misery acquaints a manWith strange bedfellows.- Shakespeare, The TempestLet's face it, many older men are miserable, living an existence of absolute abject misery, caught in a time warp where the world around them is young, their minds are fertile, but everything else about them says otherwise. They really think that they're young, but their bodies dispute this.As the old sayings go:"The mind is willing but the flesh is weak""Once a man, twice a child."Nevertheless, some are intent on denying the passage of time and declare, "Though I look old, I am strong and lusty, for in my youth, I never did apply hot and rebellious liquors, therefore my age is as a lusty winter." - Shakespeare, As you Like It.Like it or not though, many older men still persist and insist on trying to act young, only to be met with a rebuke such as this, "I know thee not, old man, fall to thy prayers, how ill white hairs become a fool and jester." See, Shakespeare has it locked and provides an answer for almost all the misery and plight that older men have to endure.But does that stop them? Not at all, for the older man will still try to interface with younger women, mingle and cohabit with those way below his numerous years, and at times be made a fool and jester of.No one has ever said, "There's no fool like a young fool," it's always, "There's no fool like an old fool." Apart from the foolish part though, there are many trials and tribulations that older men go through, much misery, including health issues.But guess what, most of it is their choice, as we'll find out right after these responses to what I had to say about 'Relationship fraud'.Hi Tony,It is no surprise to me that Jamaica is the jacket capital of the world. I am finding cousins via Ancestry.com and 23 And Me DNA Testing, that I have never heard of before, and the man they thought was their father is not. If women are having children for men who are not their husband or partner, they're committing relationship fraud. How do you classify the situation where a man knows that the child is not his, but decides not to tell the wife that he knows, but tells everyone else that the child is his? Is this to save face, and is this classified as relationship fraud?StanleyPickering, Ontario, CanadaTony,Relationship fraud must be the most terrible deception of all, for not only does it involve finances, where the jacket father has to pay for the child's upbringing, but there is also the emotional component. You cannot put a dollar value on that, and that debt can never be repaid. Maybe that's why some men just keep on accepting the child as their own, even after finding out that another man is the father. You cannot unlove a child or take back that emotional investment.RogerWhen a man gets old, he goes through a lot of changes - some physical, others emotional and mental. Very rarely do any of these improve with age, but tend to be like a car where parts start to wear out. But unlike a car, those parts can't be replaced. Truth be told though, people are ageing slower nowadays, and because of this, many older men still remain in the game, long after the whistle has blown and they should have hobbled off the field.Sure, 50 is the new 40; 60 is the new 40; and 70 is the new 40. As you can see, no older man thinks that he's over 40. Back in my high school days, when a teacher told us that he was 45, we gazed with wonderment and said among ourselves, "Forty-five, Sir really old eh?"And at the time, many looked old too, but not so in this new dispensation, where men way up in age still appear young and lusty as Shakespeare said earlier. Therein lies the danger, for those men want to relive their youth by getting involved with women who are much younger than they are. As the Bible says, 'Putting old wine in new skin,' or as I say, putting old wrinkled wine into young, new, soft, supple skin.And that, my friends, is the source of the older man's misery. I know quite a few, and they confide in me, even as they put on a brave and positive face so that those looking on won't detect the torment that they are going through.It's bad enough when they are involved with women who are half their age, or even younger, but the misery manifests itself even more when children enter the equation. Oh yes, that patter of little feet is not always sweet music to the older man.No way in heaven's name should a man of 70 want to father a child with a woman who is less than half his age. But they do, and it makes them miserable. As the old saying goes, 'What me put down long time, you just picking up.'Children are great, but they're also extremely taxing and enormously expensive. As strong as I am, I would not relish the thought of having to go through the misery of having to drop off and pick up pickney from school every day of the week. Worse now how traffic is so hellish.Then there's the huge expense of having to feed, clothe, and educate that child for the next 20 years or so. Do the math. It's not the type of calculation that brings joy to the older man."Let's see, I'm 60, she's two, by the time she starts university, I'll be 80 years old."That older man will never be able to relax and retire, but will have to work and hustle forever, just to maintain that child. Yet many older men venture down that path without thinking it through. Some even have more than one child with the young partner, in order to please her, for she is still young and she wants a family.If the young woman is financially viable, it's not so bad, but in many cases the young women who take up with these older men are often looking for a father figure themselves, someone to take care of them, a provider.Sometimes the younger woman is a professional, although this is more the exception than the norm. "I'm a lawyer, I don't need any old sugar daddy." But on the odd chance that happens, she has to report to her job, leaving the child or children in the care of, guess who, the older man.Those men live in abject misery, for they're thrust into the world of being a house husband, tethered to the task of constantly looking after the young children, bathing them, cleaning up after them, combing their hair, helping them with school work. I hear their cry, and it's the silent whimper of a miserable man, beaten down by the challenges of child care."I cannot go anywhere, I cannot do anything, my life is misery."Because of the huge age gap, onlookers often mistake those older gentlemen for grandfathers and not the fathers of their children."Tammy, your grandpa is here to pick you up.""It's not grandpa, is my father."Then there's the pressure of trying to look young to maintain parity with the young spouse. It's bad enough being mistaken for your child's grandfather, but it just adds insult to injury to be mistaken for your woman's father."I'm not her father, I'm her husband."So he tries desperately to maintain youthfulness as best as he can.The hair is dyed black, and he tries to keep slim. But after a while the age ketch up pon him, and the wrinkles in his face are a dead give away that he's up in age, the skin under his throat starts to sag like turkey neck, and the paunch makes him look seven months pregnant.He is now self-conscious of his appearance, for the woman is still in her 30s and is attractive to younger men. Those thoughts are embedded in his mind, and jealous insecurity starts to rear its ugly head. He also worries about satisfying her sexually, for what he used to do at 30, he can only now dream of at 65.Mark you, there are men of that age who are still lusty and virile without the help of that little blue pill, but there are so many others who are not so fortunate and are struggling.Listen, those older men made their choices when they ventured into the world of the young, and will have to live with those challenges. No one forced them into the situation. It was Shakespeare who said, "There is an old poor man, oppressed with two weak evils, age and hunger." I would add, "And one more evil, the love of young female flesh."More time.seido1yard@gmail.comFootnote: Since COVID, I have not travelled, not been on an airplane, but instead try to enjoy the beauty of our country. Last weekend my better half and I ventured to Montego Bay, parish of my birth, for her family reunion. We stayed at Jewel Resorts which is a fabulous property and it was so heartening to see tourism once again start to blossom. The smile on the faces of the staff was so welcoming and heart-warming. Jamaica mi seh, every time. No wonder we rank so highly on the world tourism spectrum.On a sad note, the martial arts family is mourning the passing of Sosai Lambert Plummer who left us after a prolonged illness. The legendary Small Axe was a respected karate practitioner. May he rest in peace.