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Lifelong learning is essential. So I have instructed everyone I dine with to inform me at once if they see any infringement of polite norms
Five years ago, I appeared on a now-defunct Radio 4 panel show called It’s Not What You Know. The idea was that a friend you nominated answered certain questions about you. It was then your job to guess what answer they had given. It was all blameless fun until I was asked to guess what my friend John had given as my most unpleasant habit. I got nowhere near what John had said, as I had absolutely no idea that I did what he said I did. His answer, broadcast on Radio 4, was as follows: “Sometimes, when he eats, bits of food fly out of his mouth.” I was mortified, which did at least elicit a decent roar of laughter from the audience.
I had a friendly pop at John afterwards, but it was soon laughed off and I forgot all about it. Then, this summer, over lunch with my closest family, I admonished one of them for talking with their mouth open. At this point, everyone sitting at the table uttered something along the lines of: “That’s rich, coming from you.” They were unanimously of the view that my table manners are appalling. The word disgusting was used. Continue reading...