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DR RADICA MAHASE
“One day I was taking my daughter to school. It’s only a 20-minute ride by maxi taxi and we have been doing it for a year. On this particular day she had a meltdown. She started to cry and hit herself; she threw her bag on the floor and would have ended up there if I did not stop her.
“She had meltdowns before, though not while travelling, so I knew what to do – wipe her face with a wet rag (I am always prepared) and just wait for her to self-regulate and deal with all the sensory overloads – the music in the maxi taxi, the man behind us talking too loudly, the jolting ride as the maxi went into some big potholes.
“The people in the maxi taxi were very vocal. One man said he can stop her bad behaviour if he can sit next to her and pray for her. One woman told me that I need to ‘beat that bad behaviour out of her,’ otherwise she would embarrass me like how she was doing now. I was too focused on my daughter to reply to any of them, but by the time I came out of that maxi I was more exhausted from people’s reactions that from my daughter’s meltdown.”
People who are not aware of autism or meltdowns might think a child is just throwing a tantrum or misbehaving, as the case of Jenny’s daughter above. However, a meltdown is not a tantrum, it is not a child being “harden” or spoilt.
According to the UK National Autistic Society, “A meltdown is an intense response to an overwhelming situation. It happens when someone becomes completely overwhelmed by their current situation and temporarily loses control of their behaviour. This loss of control can be expressed verbally (eg, shouting, screaming, crying), physically (eg, kicking, lashing out, biting) or in both ways.”
An individual with autism having a meltdown is experiencing sensory overloads, that is, they are being bombarded with too many sounds, lights, etc. In the case of Jenny’s daughter, the different noises in the maxi were too much for her.
The difference between a meltdown and a tantrum is that tantrums often happen when kids are trying to get something they want or need, but they can still control their behaviour. In fact, the tantrum usually ends when the child gets what he/she wants. On the other hand, a child with autism who is having a meltdown cannot fully control his/her behaviour and might not benefit from the normal measures to reduce tantrums such as distractions, hugs, or incentives to behave better.
[caption id="attachment_878487" align="alignnone" width="1024"] Meltdowns are not the same as tantrums. - Sataish Rampersad[/caption]
One teenager on the autism spectrum said, “Meltdowns are painful for me. My body hurts and I feel like I am trapped in a deep dark hole. I struggle and fight to come out but I just cannot. And no one can help me come out. It’s something that I have to deal with on my own. When it ends, I feel exhausted and I just need to be away from everyone.”
Most parents and caregivers usually know how best to help their children through a meltdown. The first step is to identify and remove triggers as much as possible – noises, lights, textures, change in routine, things that make the child anxious. Some children use sensory aids to help them cope with their environment – fidget toys, sunglasses for bright lights, headphones for loud sounds. If these can help then it is always a good idea to have them readily available.
Making your child feel safe and protected by just being there, quietly sitting at their side will help more than trying to talk them out of it. And, of course, ignore the judgmental stares and comments and just focus on your child.
Can a stranger help? Strangers can help by not reacting like those in the maxi taxi with Jenny. Kindly asking the parent/caregiver what he or she needs, being empathetic, refraining from making judgmental comments and expressing your opinions and advice will help.
Don’t try to step in and “fix” the child or tell the parents how to control their child. At that point, parents and caregivers need the space to allow their child to cope with the meltdown and they don’t need strangers to make the situation more traumatic for them or their child. So keeping your opinion and advice to yourself might be the best help you can give in that situation.
Dr Radica Mahase is the founder/director of Support Autism T&T
 
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