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His career has been a series of breathtaking failures. Yet he’s just been made chair of the intelligence committee
News that Chris Grayling is to be appointed chair of the intelligence and security committee feels like a cosmic inevitability. There is simply no aspect of the British state that is regarded as too big to Grayl. In the event of nuclear devastation, almost certainly somehow caused by Chris Grayling, Chris Grayling would not simply survive, but there would be someone surveying the ash cloud and the onset of nuclear winter going: “You know what, clearing this up looks like a job for Chris Grayling.”
Please don’t ask by what arcane Downing Street process committee appointments such as Grayling’s are decided. You are much better off imagining a wingbacked armchair with its back to the viewer, so that all that can be heard is a Mr Burns voice rasping: “Grayling, you say. Remind me of his track record.” “Well, put simply, sir … his record is that there is no longer a track. There’s just a huge stretch of scorched earth, dozens of charred horse skeletons, and it’s all overhung by a noxious pall so toxic it makes the Chernobyl exclusion zone seem like a visit to the Selfridges perfume counter.” “Perfect. Prepare his office.” Continue reading...