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‘In hell’ ... an unforgettable account of postpartum psychosis and a mother’s spell on a psychiatric ward
“Through my dread and my fear, I saw the beauty in them, the patterns in the universe. I could tell it was dangerous, this raw energy, this coursing feeling, and for a moment, I wished I could tumble in, tumble into the madness.”
Catherine Cho’s episode of postpartum psychosis came on when her baby was three months old. She and her husband James had taken Cato to America from their home in London to introduce him to his relatives. Everywhere they went, their Korean families told them off for defying the Korean custom of keeping the baby inside for the first 100 days and risking his health during the flu season. Cho took on their anxiety, doubting her own ability to cope. Then one day she saw Cato’s eyes as devils’ eyes. Within hours, she lost all sense of time, imagining herself as her own grandmother and her son’s child, and became convinced she was in hell and that her son was going to die as expiation for their sins. By the time she was sectioned, she had forgotten who she was. Continue reading...